Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit that you need help. Help isn’t something we like to ask for. It makes us feel weak, and like something is wrong with us. Well, I am putting those fears behind me. I am facing my fear. And I am asking for help. Monday morning, I am having my first visit with a professional counselor. I realize that there are things in my past, I have never dealt with. There are things in my past that effect me today. That I have issues, I need to work on, and I need the tools, to ready myself so when problems arise, usually within myself, I know how to handle them. So I do not continue to destroy my relationships, and lose people who mean a lot to me.
This isn’t easy for me to do, it’s actually really hard. But like I said, I no longer want to lose people. I believe (I’m assuming here, which is one of my problems), that I have lost someone who meant a lot to me. Still does. The one person I do not want to lose. Well he is one, but nonetheless, I wanted him in my life for years to come. And I feel because of my destructive ways, I’ve lost that chance, I have lost him. And it hurts. It hurts a lot. So I need to change. It might be too late for him, but like I said. I do not want to lose anyone else with my craziness!
So Monday Feb. 13, 2017 at 9 am I start my new journey into figuring out what makes Katie assume, overthink, and overreact!
Oh, and I’m looking into getting my belly apron removed! I’ll be writing my doctor to get the referrals for this, when I am done with this. Another big jump for me. I’ve put this off for years! But they believe the pain I’m feeling is due to my hanging skin on my lower stomach. They also feel it’s the reason I’m having bad back pain. So fingers crossed I get this covered by insurance.