It takes Work..

Relationships.. they take work. It’s not always going to be easy. You’re not always going to get a long. You’re going to fight. You’re going to disagree, you’re going to get on each other’s nerves. You’re going to say things in the heat of the moment that you can’t take back. Relationships are a choice. It’s saying I choose you. I choose you through the good, when we are laughing, cuddling, hanging out. And I choose you when you do things that drive me up the wall. When you get insecure, and feel weak or vulnerable. Instead of lashing out, you try to understand where the other is coming from, even though that’s not always easy. Relationships aren’t easy. You can’t just throw it away. You can’t just say I’m done. You can’t just write someone off, because things got heated. No. You talk, you COMMUNICATE.

My parents have been married for 41 years. 41 very hard years! They have had their ups and down. There were many times they was ready to call it quits. To give up. But you know, they didn’t. They stayed to together, they worked through it. And 41 years later, they are still together. Something you do not see very often now days. Now day’s if someone chews in a way you don’t like, you can just leave them, and move on to someone else who doesn’t have major dental issues!  Are things always good for my parents. NO! After 41 years they still do things that get on each other’s nerves. My mom talks and laughs too loud, my dad can sometimes be a little insensitive toward my mom. My mom can be a little insecure, and sometimes always thinks the negative, and my dad chews funny, and is the king of short answers “yep”, or and saying things like, cutting off my mom may mind you, “it’s be alright” or “You’ll be OK” when she is trying to express her feelings. They do things that drive each other crazy!! But they love each other, and they don’t let those little things be the reason to give up on each other. They also haven’t let some really big things not be the reason to give up! And believe me, there are some pretty big reasons their marriage could have ended. But they decided, made the choice, to make it work.

They love each other, and they understand that the good out weighs the bad.

I am looking for that. I am looking for someone whose not going to give up on me simply because I do something that gets on his nerves. Someone whose going to say.. I choose you, always. I may get mad at you, but I’m not going to leave you. Someone who’ll give me a reason NOT to assume the worst, and rest in the security that no matter how hard I get, how emotional I get he’s still going to be there. That he picks me! And when I start to feel insecure, he’ll try to understand, see where I am coming from. Talk to me about it. TALK.. not yell, not cuss, not make me feel like I did something so wrong, for simply asking a question.

I’m a giver, I’m faithful, I’m loyal, I’ll be there always, for those who’ll be there for me! I’ll give 100%. But I have issues. I’m not perfect. I have insecurities, I have struggles. There are things from my childhood that makes me insecure, that makes anxious, and worry. I assume the worst, almost always. And I get really really anxious, and when this happens I do not know how to deal. I talk myself into a hole, I do and say things I regret as soon as I let them fly from my lips!  I try to control the situation, and when it doesn’t go the way I want it to. I overreact!  I’m going to start dealing with these problems (for real. I start counseling Monday). Because I NEVER want my issues to be the reason I lose someone ever again. My heart can’t take it. I recognize I have a problem. I recognize I need help. And I want the help. So hopefully I become a little easier to live with and understand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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