Here I am again. Feeling the hurt and pain of having my heart broken.. again. And I think to myself. How did I allow this to happen again? Why did I allow it to happen again? I was told that this time, when it happened, it would hurt less. Well that is not true. That is very much not true.
I’m blaming myself, I’m thinking back to last Tuesday, and thinking what I could have done different. How I could have reacted different. Would things be different today? Why did I overreact? Why did I assume? Why did overthink?
He will not forgive me, I do believe I have lost him forever. And this breaks my heart. I was so happy, and and floating on cloud nine this time last week. I had a great lunch with him, and we laughed and flirted. I want that back!
I know, I can’t keep begging him to take me back. I can’t keep begging for forgiveness. I can’t keep doing this! My heart is involved, it’s been involved, the fear of being hurt, and left is the reason I reacted the way I did. If I didn’t care for him, I wouldn’t have acted the way I did. I would have just brushed it of as nothing. I wish he knew that!