I have recently read the book “God Where is My Boaz” by Stephan Labossiere (or Stephan Speaks Relationship on Facebook..which I can’t connect you to, because I am taking a LOA from FB at this time). I have to say I LOVED this book! If you are single lady, I highly recommend reading it. I’m a single lady, I’m a very single lady, who just happens to be older, even though I do not feel it..I am. I’ve been waiting a long time for my Boaz..starting to think he is not out there. But his book was an eye opener for me. I see where I have failed in so many areas of my life, when it comes to finding the man who God has for me.
Especially the part where he talks about how many of ladies make lists of what we are looking for in a man. Usually, we gal’s look for things like..
- Nice Hair
- Nice body
I can go on and on. We focus on the things that are physical, that will change in time! But we often do not focus on the things that are really important. Like who he is. However, I always have. I’ve always been pretty focused on who he is, what his personality is like.. what kind of relationship he has with God. Those things have always been important to me. And somewhere, a long the line, I have lost track of those qualities I look for. I do not know if it was out of desperation of wanting to be a relationship, and feel loved, wanted and desired I was willing to put my convictions behind me, for the sake of some guy. Hoping that maybe once I “hooked” him he would change. He would become that man who I desired. WRONG WRONG WRONG.. on so many levels!!
First, I need to stop looking for the man who I want to be with. Who I feel God wants me with, and I need to start praying for the guy who GOD wants me to be with, and who GOD knows is best for me. I can’t tell God anything.. He knows all. This is not always easy. It’s not easy to give over all control of your life. Ever. Especially, if you’re a control freak, like myself. This makes it really hard! But really, lay it down at His feet, and leave it there. Stop picking it up, and acting like I know what’s best for me. Cause well it hasn’t worked so far..now has it? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yep..that’s me.
Second, I need to keep my goals focused on God, I need to remember that God wants what’s best for me. He wants me to be with that person who he created with me in mind. And I need to hold up those standards for which I have always desired in a man. And I need to find someone whose already there! Not someone who needs to figure it out. There has been a saying floating around the internet, that I’ve seen so many times.. it says something along this lines.. “Let God make a man out of him ,before you make him a husband”. It is so important that two people are on the same page! That they are heading in the same direction, that the other won’t hold the other back! I do not want to be held back. I want to move forward with God, and I want a guy who’ll walk beside me, and hold my hand, shoulder to shoulder. Not someone whose going to try to hold me back. Not on purpose of course, but just because he’s not where he needs to be with God. I do not want to fix him. That’s not my job. I want God to fix him first.
Now in the book, it mentioned writing down your expectations for the man of your dreams! So I am going to do that. A simple reminder of what I want, what I believe I deserve in a man. So when I start to get discourage, or feeling as though I am going to falter, and give in, I can look back, read these, and remind myself of what I deserve! I have four major qualities I am looking for. Four I need to stand firm on! If a guy cannot fit into these qualities.. I need to pass him by. I need to continue waiting.
- Must be a believer, this is important to me. Now I’ve had people (mostly women) whose told me to not focus on this so much. That they are married to someone whose a non-believer. They are doing just fine. But let me ask you? How serious are you about your relationship God? How devote are you? Which brings me to..
- I want someone whose going to grow WITH ME, in God. Whose going to worry about my salvation, and my relationship with God, just as much as his own. As a couple, I want us to be concerned about each other’s spiritual health, just as much as our physical health. If I am with a non-believer, or someone who is not living their life in God’s will, this would impossible. Plus, I kind of what to see them in heaven some day too!
- Someone who I can pray with. I’ve always had this dream of praying with my future my husband! Sitting at the kitchen table, hand in hand starting our day out together in prayer. This comes from seeing my own parents do this, and my aunt Candy and Uncle Harold. There is just something romantic about praying with our husband! Don’t you think? Starting the day out with your two most important loves. God and your man! Or starting the day out with your guys! A man who’ll take my hand when we go out to eat, and lead us in prayer, with no shame.
- Someone who will spending time studying the bible with me. I want to dig into the word with him, and learn about God with him. I want to go to church with him, and worship with him.. during the dating phase and once we are married. I want US to ask God to bless our relationship!
There are only four major qualities I am looking for (who knows I may think of more later).. But four pretty important ones. Four that I need to stand firm on! Four that are the most important to me. Because God should always be in the center of ones relationships.
So let me ask you.. if you are reading this, tell me of some qualities you look for when finding your Boaz or your Ruth (if you’re a guy). Or what are some you looked for if you are married, and did you stick those qualities?