Monthly Archives: April 2017

A Heart Like David..

I do believe the saying “Wow God is just amazing” has become a regular part of my vocabulary! I seem to say it a lot. This is because.. He is. He’s simply amazing! With me though, He often has to show His awesomeness through other people , through TV shows, through Bible studies.. because I can be hard headed like that. It’s like I ask Him for an answer if He tells me what I want to hear..I accept it. Easily. But if He goes silent (usually that means “NOT NOW”, or I get a blank right out no. I refuse to hear it. I keep asking over and over again. Like a little kid in a candy store who was told she couldn’t have that candy bar. Instead of accepting it, I keep asking for it over and over again. Thankfully, God is not like some parents. He doesn’t turn around yell, and cuss at me when I keep asking the same thing over and over again! Instead, He sends others, to help me receive His answer.

I’ve been struggling with a few things. One is my job (no way..huh)? Yeah, I do not like my job. Sorry ladies I work with. But I do not. And I will not lie. I knock on all kinds of doors in hopes that something will open and I can leave. Nothing ever seems to open. And if it does open. Something always comes up, to close it. Tightly. I mean I left Walmart once, and had to come back. Obviously, I am there for a reason. It’s really been hard for me, as of late. I have always said, I would love my job if it wasn’t for the customers. If I could just hang out with my co-workers all day, 9 hours straight I would so do it in a heart beat. But that’s not how it works. I have to interact with people. Often unfriendly, angry, impatient, selfish, You all are starting to get to me. I am so not made out to work with the public. At this point, I do not have the patience or understanding for it. You all make it hard for me! I mean is it so hard to be nice? But I have been finding myself asking “is this really what I am suppose to be doing with my life? I want more!” but no doors are opening for that to happen. I pray to God and I practically beg Him to come through for me on this one. And I get nothing! NOTHING! Nothing opens! Nothing happens. I’m stuck. Sitting in idle, trying to put the pedal to the metal and move forward, and only creating smoke! Throwing my little fits and pouting, cause I’m not getting my way, the answer I want. And then God works in His most amazing way! He sends me a message, an answer. Not once, not twice, but three times! The first was through my bible study. I am studying David, a man after God’s heart. If you do not know much about David, I encourage you to read up on him. But for now, I’ll just explain to you, the part God is using for me. Did you know that David was appointed to the king of Israel, as a young boy. At the time he was a Shepard. One of the lowest forms of work you could have in those days (you know the cashier’s of biblical times). When he was anointed King, he didn’t leave the fields, he didn’t go with Samuel back to Israel to claim his throne. NO. And may I mind, no one thought David would be the one chosen ,his own father Jesse, did not believe David would be picked. He left David in the field during Samuel’s visit. Samuel had to ask “do you have any other sons”. Jesse wasn’t even going to volunteer David as an option. Imagine how David must have felt as Samuel anointed him king, before his father, and older brothers. Sorry I got side tracked there. Back to my point. David didn’t become King right away. No, no ,he needed to go through his assignment of refinement for God to use him. David did not take the throne until he was in his 30’s, and the years before taking that position, was spent doing jobs, that was way below a king’s payroll. Way below them. But he needed those jobs, he needed those lessons, and God knew that. And you know.. David never questioned God, David never got bitter, or asked God to rush the process. David not only obeyed God, and did His will. David rejoiced in it. David praised God for all he went through. Boy, can we not learn something from David there? How often do we get upset, and angry with God because we do not feel God is moving fast enough for us. How often do we miss the lesson, because we want to rush the process? I’m guessing a lot. We are people of instant gratification, we want it and we want it now. We do not feel we should have to wait for anything (just stand in line at Walmart some morning! You’ll see it). But sometimes God needs us to wait, because there is something He wants us to learn, that will help us in the future. Do you not think that every single, in the ditch job, David endured, didn’t play a part in making him the king that he became? God knew this, and David trusted. And through God’s perfect timing, and Davids patience to wait, and refinement we received one of the greats gifts our world has ever received!

I do have a point with this story, as you know, I’ve been studying David, and Beth Moore has done a great job of delivering that message to me. But Joel Osteen really brought it home for me. You see yesterday, and last night I was really struggling. REALLY. I’ve been struggling for a while, but last night was the boiling point. I was ready to explode. I was throwing my little fit, I was having myself a pity party, and pouting. Because I wasn’t getting what I want. God wasn’t answering my prayers the way I wanted Him! I vented to my mom, I cried, I became angry. And than I laid on my couch to pout. Feel sorry for myself. Poor little Katie. And then Joel Osteen came on TV. Now I usually flip the channel when he comes on. I’m not a fan, at all. There are few TV preachers I like to listen to, James Merritt, is one of my favorite. But Ol’ Joel ,not a fan. I’m not a fan. I was about to change it, when he said something that caught my attention. He started talking about David.. and how he did not go from anointed King to the throne. How he had mediocre jobs, jobs that were way below a king’s role. And that he didn’t get bitter, he was grateful. That God had to take David through those mediocre jobs, to make him the king he eventually became, and to lead the great kingdom he did! And you know what? David was thankful and faithful to God for those jobs. He did his job, faithfully, trusting that God’s way’s were higher than his ways, and that everything works for the greater purpose. That God has a purpose. He was in his season of refinement.  God was preparing him to become the great king he became, and he never would have gotten there.. had David not be faithful to God, to those jobs. This was an eye opener to me. Because I was sitting there pouting and crying over working at Walmart, wanting God to move right now.. and I was not being thankful for this time. I was not waiting on God’s timing. I wanted to rush it. I wanted it to be over with, and I’m not learning the lesson I am suppose to learn.

God’s timing is not our timing. He doesn’t work on the same time table as us. Everything you go through, everything He takes you through, He does for a reason! To mold us, to teach us, to refine us. When we rush it, we do not get everything God wants us to learn, or mold into. How can we fully become the men and women of God, if we do not sit still sometimes, and just let Him work on us?

Does this make me like working at Walmart even more? No, no it doesn’t. But I am thankful He has me there, for a reason. I cannot rush His timing either. I have to let the process run it’s course. I have to sit in that fiery furnace a little bit longer, to see what God has in store for me.

I’m Not..

I’m not the kind of girl.. who needs fancy dates, expensive gifts, big huge vacations. Those things are nice, of course, but not something I desire! At least, not from a man. From a man, I am looking for his time! Time with him is what’s most important. I would rather chill at home, watching movies, laughing and eating popcorn. Going for a walk, or a drive! Where we can just be ourselves, laugh, and joke around!  Oh.. and I can lay around in my Pj’s..that makes it extra special! haha.  I mean, I’m interested in him.. not what he can or can’t give me!  If he gives me the attention I desire, the time. I’m going to be happy!

New Camera

So with my income tax money, I decided (after years of saying I was going to do this) to buy myself a new camera! I love photography! It is relaxing for me. Calms me. Best decision I’ve made! OK maybe not the best but it’s close! So here are some of the pictures I have taken ( I am no professional, nor do I claim to be. Just a armature who loves nature.. obviously)!IMG_4756IMG_4757IMG_4573IMG_4596IMG_4603IMG_4608IMG_4611IMG_4612IMG_4614IMG_4630IMG_4634IMG_4672IMG_4721

I Trust God..

It’s hard to Trust God, to give your heart, time, life over to Him completely and say.. “your will be done”. Not easy. Not easy at all. But I have learned, life is better that way. It may be hard at first, it may break me, or hurt me. But it’s worth it. Besides, I often find myself in rather bad situations when I try to do things on my own. It never ends well. I mess everything up. It’s after I give up, and give it to God that my life starts turn around.