I have often asked God, during my prayer time “Lord why do you have me at Walmart? What am I suppose to learn here”.. seriously, I ask this question. You see, Walmart was NOT my first choice of a place to work. Actually, it wasn’t in my first five choices. To be honest with you, it’s at the end of the list, with fast food places like McDonald’s, Taco Bell, and Burger King. And working in a nursing home cleaning up older people. Retail.. is NOT where I wanted to work. And Walmart is really not where I wanted to work. Not my dream job! But God opened that door for me not once but twice. Funny both times I tried to other open doors, frantically trying to push my way through them. Both both times those doors were shut in my face! And I ended up at Walmart, or back at Walmart. Obviously, God wants me there. But why? Why would He want me someplace, I despise? Some place I never wanted to work. Was it because I said I was never going to work there, and He thought.. “ha I’ll show her”? No because God doesn’t work like that.Just in case he does though.. “I’m NEVER going to win the lotto, I’m NEVER going to marry the man of my dreams.. “. lol. Really His way’s are always higher than ours, and there is always a reason behind the path He puts us on. I’m just trying to figure out this path.
I have no clue why I am there, wearing this lovely yellow vest, and telling people to “stop messing with your bags”, or asking “did you find everything OK today?”. But I know God has a purpose for this path I am on. Right now I’m just trying to keep smiling , act like I’m happy, and get through the day, counting down the hours until I get to go home. It’s not always easy. There are days I plead with God to open other doors. I dread going in every morning. And like I mentioned before, I start counting down the hours till I get to go home (most days, I’m there 9 hours, a little too long for a part time gal, if you ask me). I have even thought of ways I can save money, to leave. I even budgeted out my income tax money, and figured out how many months I could live on it, thinking I could quit Walmart, and look for something else, and still be able to pay my bills. But something tells me, that whatever job I found would not work out, and I would be trying to force open a door, that God never intended me to walk through, and end up back at Walmart again.. back at square one. You see here lately, I have been trying to open up doors God does not want me to open. I never seem to learn that when I do this, He closes them. And this usually hurts. I fight with God, when it comes to doors. Clearly, but He wins every time. He will win every time. One way or another, He will win.
Maybe, God is trying to teach me to be content, bloom where I am planted and thankful for what He has given me. No it’s not my dream job, but it is a job. And if I can’t be thankful for what He has already given me, then why would He trust me with something else. Plus, He’s given me some pretty good jobs in the past, that I complained about, and quit..Oh my, what if this is as good as it gets for me..haha. Really though, God has blessed me with good jobs in the past, and I kept throwing them away. Maybe He thinks I’m not going to appreciate anything more than Walmart. Maybe he’s trying to show me.. it could always be worse! lol. My aunt swears up and down it’s to meet my future husband. He’s going to come through my lane, fall madly in love, and one day we’ll say our vows before Self Scan! OK not we won’t marry at Walmart.. her dream is I marry in her backyard (true story).
I have learned something though, these past few months. I’ve had a hard few months. Some struggles that have really opened my eyes. Between Walmart, and relationship issues, I have learned that God’s way’s are always higher than mine. He see’s things, I do not, He knows things I do not. And He never does anything, or will never do anything that’s going to destroy me. Sometimes, I try to go out on my own, take matters in my own hands, do my own thing, and end up hurt. I tell God, “I know what I’m doing, I’m OK..let me handle this” and He usually sits back, and watches me for a while. Allowing me to go on my own, make mistakes, act all smart like I know what I’m doing. Of course things always unravel, start to fall apart. I start to get hurt, or realizing that this job I just took, isn’t going to work, it’s all falling a part. And then He steps in and says “No my child, you do not know what I’m doing, you do not know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper, plans to flourish. Are you ready to trust Me now?” God doesn’t need my help. He just needs me to say.. “Thy will be done”, and turn my life completely over to him. God’s got me. I may not understand His way’s, but I do not need to. I just have to trust Him.
Sometimes, giving our all, and totally surrendering, to the unknown, not having that control. Is hard. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. To fully trust Him with my heart. To fully give him my life, lay it down at His feet and say. Do what you please. It hasn’t been easy, and the last two area’s of my life, that I’ve struggled with the most has been my job, working where he wants me to work, and my relationships. Trusting that He’ll send me someone who HE WANTS me to be with. To keep my eyes focused on Him, and just let Him take my life where He needs be to be. To sit back and learn, and let Him teach me to become that Godly employee, and prepare me to be the Godly wife He wants me to be. And be patient while he prepares my future husband for his role as well. It’s not been easy.. Letting go is never easy! But it’s a step I have to do.
Maybe you’re the in the same situation. You’re struggling. You’re trying to figure out what’s going on in your life, why things have happened the way they are. You are trying to find some peace, and happiness in this confusing place in life! My advice to you. LET GO AND GIVE IT TO GOD..leave your worries, and concerns at His feet, and walk away. Let Him have them, and do not take them back. Then get out there, and praise Him! Thank Him for every tear of sorrow, thank Him for every trial. Do not just praise Him when things are going well, but praise Him in the storm. Praise Him when your world is crashing in around you. When you can’t see from all the tears in your eyes. Rest assured He is there, holding you.
God is faithful, and just. He’s there for you. He has your back. He will not let you fall, you just have to reach out for Him. He can’t hold your hand, if you do not give him your hand to hold!